S - I'm gonna eat dinner with Chuppa Chups. (Chopsticks)

S - Could I have some bird meat? (chicken)

S - Please pass me your head.

S - (asking for lettuce) Could I have some head please.

S1 -How much pork did you buy?
S2 - 200kg. (=440lbs)

S - I work in an izakaya. I introduce food to people.

S - I boiled my husband.

S - He was driving an old fork. (Ford)

T - What is your favorite food?
S - Kevin Costner.

S1 (as waiter) - What kind of wine do you like?
S2 - I like red wine.
S1 - Do you want some sodomy with your red wine? (salami)

T - Please answer with a question....I wanted to meet somebody.
S - Who did you want to eat.

S - I am going to eat the French.

S to T - What kind of food do you teach?

S - I don't have enough money to eat my children.

S - I usually cook (for) myself.

S - He was teaching a banana. (eating)

S - He has lunch in a hamburger.

S1 to S2 - Who do you have to eat?

S - When she was 2, she could eat herself. (feed)

S - Food poisoning is very popular in Japan. (common)

T - Listen and repeat......"coffee and donuts"
S - Mafia donuts

T - What perfume is she wearing?
S - She is wearing franks and beans.

S -He is throwing up a ball.

S - Who did you barbecue?

S -I ate a barbecue.

S -I'd like to buy some hamster. (hamburger)

T - What does she have to eat on Mondays?
S - She usually has Frank on Mondays. (franks and beans)

S - She took a French fry from his behind.

S - My daddy can eat a hundred sandwiches. (speak 100 languages)

S - I usually eat pig skeleton soup.

S - Paris is too gay for me.

S - He asked her to play with his instrument.

S - The old man is coming out in (of) the theater.

S - He was walking to his car when he attacked his behind. (...was attacked from..)

S - Pete is in the theater in (with) Betsy.

S - (Movie title) Silence of the sheep.

S - (of Godzilla) His dentist is a triangle. (????)

S - He already sang (signed) his name.

T - Where do you live?
S - I usually read comic books on Sundays.

S - He retired from pubic life.

S - I like this school. They have small members. (the classes are small in size)

S1 - Can you change a dollar?
S2 - Yes, here are four daughters. (quarters)

T - What do you do when you open a shoe box and there are 2 left shoes?
S - I laugh.

S - Come in and make yourself uncomfortable.

S - Sit down and make yourself dinner.

S - When we take care of our patients we shouldn't get hard. (be difficult)

S1 - Can I exchange this sweater, please?
S2 - Why? What's wrong with you?

S - I will graduate from university in 2000 years. (in the year 2000.)

S1 - How much are these shoes?
S2 - 1 million.
S1 - Ehhh?!
S2 - Oh, no. 1 Husband.  (Hundred)

S1 - Who do I have to fax?
S2 - The insects.

T - What is his job?
S - He is a typewriter.

S - He is raping a desk. (????)

S - I'd like to speak to something in the sales department.

S - I went to crime school. (Cram)

S - This watch is mental. (metal)

T - If it rains will you get wet?
S - No. I Don't get wet. (really?)

S - I've never had clean toilets.
( In response to..."have you ever had to clean toilets?")

T - What is he doing?
S - He is hanging his baby. (holding)

S1 - He's getting with the cat.
S2 -Ehh?
S1 - Oh no. He's getting with the ladder. (Getting the cat out of the tree with the ladder)

S - He's been a house for 5 years.

S - She rides a house everyday. (horse)

T - What is he doing?
S - He is flashing. ( He is taking a picture.)

S - I'm usually easy on Sundays. (take it easy)

T - What are the 5 most important inventions ever?
1 - Print club
2 - Post-its
3 - Karaoke box
4 - Instant Ramen
5 -Telephone answering machine

T - What is it?
S1 - It's an umbrella.
S2 - It's a truck.
(correct answer - shelf)

S1 to S2 - You are riding inside me. (beside)

T - Please tell me the opposite, ....expensive.
S - .......expensive.

T - (Showing picture) Why is he running?
S - Because he is dead.

Student to teacher - What is your job?

S - I was reading in the library for 2 years. (hours)

T - How are you?
S - Oh, nothing much.

S - I'm feeling vigorous.

S -  The cigarette is getting into her eyes. (smoke is getting into her eyes)

T - Tell me, what is the same about you and your mother?
S - She is insane, I'm not.

S1 - Do you have a pet?
S2 - No, I don't but I rent one.

S1 - Do you have a dog?
S2 - No but I have a girlfriend.

S -My bathroom has tails. (tiles)

T - Who is Snoopy.
S - Charlie Brown's member.

T - What is it? (pointing to cow)
S - It's a pig.
T - no.
S - It's a beef.
T - ummm  ...  it's ..
S - Oh!  It's a beef dog.

T - What is she doing?
S - She is breeding a squirrel. (feeding)

S1 - How much dog is there?
S2 - About half.

S - I'm gonna do my dog. (walk)

S1 - Do you have an animal?
S2 - My wife is my animal.

S1 - What will she do with the sheep.
S2 - She will hurt it.
S1 - How will she hurt it?
S2 - (Giggling nervously) I can't say.

S - Today, I'm a Gibbon. ( ???? )

T - What are you doing?
S - I'm tripping. (traveling)

S1 - What is she birthing?
S2 - A train.

S - He was runaway by bicycle.

S1 -How do you go to work?
S2 - By chicken.

S1 - Is there a supermarket near here?
S2 - Yes. Go strange. Turn left, second signal.

S1 - What is he doing?
S2 - Are you a passport?

T - Where are they?
S - They are in London.
T - Why do you think so?
S - Because they are serious.

S1 - Who's river is it?
S2 - It's God's river.

S1 - How long does it take you to get to English school?
S2 - 25 years. (minutes)

S  - They were putting him into the ambulance when they attacked him.

S1 - Have you ever seen the Liberty of Statue?
S2 - No, what is it?
S1 - It is a big goddess with ice cream cone.

S to T - You are a New Zealandian.

S - They are trying to Mount Everest. (climb)

T - Name an English speaking country....
S - "Switzerland."

T - Why are you studying English?
S - Because I want to go to France.

S - They won the gold medal in the traffic field.

S - I'm going to the Disneyland to get Mickey.

S (asking about Canada) - Do you snow?

S - The middle aged woman was driving a cabinet.

S - He has a small cabinet in the woods. (Cabin)

S - The bride and broom are leaving the church.

S - I learn English because I want to be a white person.

S - He burst into his old girlfriend. (bumped)

S1 to S2 - What are you going to get married to?

S - My friend will marry because HE is pregnant.

S - Golden week is my relax time so my husband will be servicing me for the holiday.

S1 to S2 - What position would you like to try with me?

T - What is an example of suddenly?
S - Falling in love.

S - There was a big erection in England today.

T - What do you think of Natto?
S - I think the power of NATO is spreading.

T - Did you vote?
S - I don't like personal erections. (elections)

S - She is going to take out her nose. (blow)

S - He was attached by someone.

S - She is sitting between Betty and a mustache.

S - Someone shot a gun from his behind.

S1 - What color is your hair?
S2 - I like green.

S - She is crying so hard that her foundation has dropped out. (Mascara is running)

S - The tall one held her behind. (from behind)

T - The opposite of thin.
S - fag.

T - What is in your hand?
S - There is nothing in my head. (. . . . . . .yeah, right.)